Teenage Lovers Between The Sheets

While in San Antonio last week I bought an unusual instrument from the thrift store near my old house. It was Black Friday so everything was 50% off. I purchased a kantele and sheet music for $15. I didn't know what it was at first but my friend and I did some extensive research and we found that it was a Finnish instrument with a mythological background. Pretty cool. I sold it to Rebecca for her band JEN. She really wanted an auto harp because it's huggable but the kantele can totally be hugged.

I've wanted to direct a music video for Jason Castro ever since I won Be Your Own Pet's video contest this past summer. He currently has no "official" music video or album. I just can't see Jason in an expensive music video. He's so modest and humble. I could see something low key and independently directed. And who better to direct his first video than a fan of his music.

If I could choose I would create a video for his new song "Shine Your Light" or "Love Uncompromised"



I've already made up in my mind what this video would look like.

Future Husband:



Bud Cort in the film Harold and Maude.
He has the creepy sort of cuteness in the movie.
I think his character made me fall in love with the macabre.
As a result, I made my parents rent me a hearse for my 17th birthday and for my Prom.

Shine Your Light When Things Start To Look Dim

When wood is broken it can never be repaired.
You can try and glue the pieces together but they will always be fragmented and weak.
Holidays are wasteful and hurtful. They really test the strength of a family.
I went home to San Antonio for Thanksgiving. I really wanted to go to Tulsa for the weekend.
That didn't happen. But it's okay because I got to spend time with my old friends who I hadn't seen in so long. And I was able to catch some great live music and do a little thrift shopping.
I don't know when I'll be back in San Antonio or if I'll ever go back.
Maybe I'll be back to visit friends. I just feel as though I have no place there.
I can never go back home because home is where the heart is and mine is broken.

Even though I didn't get to attend Jason Castro's concert in Tulsa I was able to see it all happen through a live feed via the internet.
It was magical and he truly inspires. He's inspired me to shine my light as bright as I can.

I've been bewitched by the Polyphonic Spree song "Hold Me Now". Give it a listen and I dare you not to feel good afterward.

Wunderkind of note: Marcus Rubio


I caught his act this week and was very pleased by his performance. I hope to one day direct a music video of his. Or maybe he could score a short film of mine. He really makes the San Antonio music scene look good.
www.myspace.com/marcusrubio

Future Husband:



Stephen Colbert
I first fell for him as Chuck Noblett in Strangers with Candy.
Truth be told he is married, but everyone needs a mistress.
And he still teaches Sunday School every week.

Tuesday Feels Like Friday

School is out for the holidays. Everyone is going home. Except me.
Or at least I feel that way. I'm not going home until tomorrow night and I feel like everyone is gone. Or out partying. Yes, partying on a Tuesday night. That is college for you.

This semester is paid off. Next semester...well we will see.

And now what you have all been waiting for. The blogosphere premier of my short film trailer "Etienne's Gaining Weight".



My fingers are still crossed that I get to road trip with my friends to Oklahoma this weekend. But if it doesn't happen I will try not to be too sad. Maybe it will give me more time work on that 15-20 page paper I've been putting off all semester. Maybe.
I finished my silk painting today. It was epic. The only assignment I have left for my intermediate costume class is my portfolio. And then this semester will be over and forgotten.

Future Husband:



Joseph Gordon-Levitt
He's the indie darling I'd like to share my days with.
For more info see: Mysterious Skin, Brick, and The Lookout

Pretty Good Cape Weather

Bad news bears....i didn't get the RA job. boo.
oh well. I don't mind living with my roomies for another semester. I just really wanted my housing and food to be paid for. And I would love to be an RA. There's always next time.

I would like to start making a series of vlogs and shorts for my Youtube channel. I don't have anything up yet. I want to upload my trailer first but I still haven't figured out how to get it from DVD to Youtube.

Ingrid found an eyelash in a measuring cup I lent to Kelsey. She said,"Geez Kat! What are you measuring slash what are you baking?!"

Jarymar gave me an idea for a clothing company. I've always wanted to make my own clothes but I've sort of put the idea on the back burner. Well the types of clothes I want to make are unisex one pieces. She told me to call the clothing label Unicorn. I just might do that Jary.

New Idea: Study Abroad in Finland. Helsinki is starting to appeal to me. I'm looking into it.

Future Husband:



Wes Anderson
Maybe if we get married he will write and direct a beautiful film about me. Maybe.

Make Mom and Dad Proud

My short film trailer was premiered at the film festival. It went well. I got a lot of good feed back and some people even wanted to see the full length. I had to tell them there was none and might never be one. I can't say that. I should say that there wouldn't be one any time soon. I will try and get it on Youtube and onto this blog asap. I'm just not sure how.
I was so nervous. I didn't win any awards or prizes or anything. But I didn't mind. The nice words were good enough.

I am excited to start my newest project. I want to make a mocumentary. There was one at the film festival and I thought it was hilarious. It was made by some of my friends and it reminded me of Christopher Guest's genius. I would like to make one about cults and weird religious behavior and hippie communes. I mostly want to make this film because of the potential for awesome costumes. And weird make up and soundtrack. Not actual content. Comment if you'd like to be in my next venture. I need a lot of actors with little to no talent. All ages, all body types, and all ethnicities. I really want to get started on this during the Christmas break. I will edit it during the Spring semester.

By the way...I want to make more music videos. Maybe with the real band in it this time. Just thought I'd put it out there.

The road trip is still on as of this moment. Abe is driving. Frank is shotgun. I like the peace in the backseat. I will be busy napping and journaling our trip. Hopefully we can stop at a few thrift shops.
It would make for fun pit stops and shopping expeditions. I'm not sure if I will make a video of anything. I'm hoping to get some new pictures of me and Jason.

Future Husband:



Andrew Vanwyngarden of MGMT
I think he pretty much gets the mystical side of me.
And he has the most adorable face.



Don't we make a cute couple?

Singin' Hallelujah With the Fear in Your Heart

Tomorrow is the premier of my short film trailer "Etienne's Gaining Weight".
I am so excited and I hope that you all attend the film festival if you are able to. It is the first of it's kind at St. Edward's and I'm pretty glad to be a part of history.

I am about 30% done with my silk octopus painting. It is due next Tuesday and I still have lots to due.
Today I got to take home bundles of free clothes from the Costume Shop. I'm thinking about starting an online shop where I can sell unique and one of a kind clothing to people all over the world. I'm sure people in Austin will want to buy some of the clothing I have but I think it is meant for a broader audience who will appreciate the costume quality.

The best thing I got today was a cape. I am now the proud owner of a brocade cape. It's magical and I'm going to work it into my style. It won't be too hard though. I've been wanting a cape but I never thought about a color besides black.

I have to come up with my Christmas Wish List. I don't expect anyone to give my any gifts but if you're thinking about it then look no further. I'm going to try and make all my gifts by hand. I feel like there is so much more love in them. And I'm just cheap.

Future Husband:



Vincent Kartheiser from Crime+Punishment in Suburbia
He's an outcast and a savior and a stalker and a voyeur.
He made a really crappy C movie into a cult classic for me.

God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You

I finished editing my short film trailer today. It is epic.
I hope the film festival powers that be will take a late submission.
I'm very excited for everyone to see it. I'm so excited I almost wish I had made a whole short film instead of just the trailer. Almost.

This week I will start and hopefully finish my silk painting of an octopus. I have yet to find a name for the painting. I'm leaning towards Esteban or Kingsley.

This week holds a lot for me. Friday is the Film Festival and it is also when I will find out if I'm going to be an RA next semester. Pray for me. I really need that job in more ways than one.

I can't wait until Thanksgiving break. Fingers crossed that I am able to road trip to Oklahoma. I've decided that I'm spending all my "money" on seeing Jason Castro perform this holiday season as a gift to myself. So instead of throwing a birthday party for other people to enjoy I will be enjoying myself at my favorite performer's concert.

I had small group Bible study today. We went to a private praise and worship meeting thing. It was intense. There was acoustic guitar strumming, Christian music singing, prayer, speaking in tongues, praising, healing, and meditation. I was laying on the floor listening to Bekah strum the guitar and sing a beautiful song and I just felt myself fall asleep. I woke up and everyone was singing "Majesty" really loud so I just joined in. It was very cool but I had to leave because I promised some friends that I would meet them for coffee. My time spent at praise and worship really got me excited about possibly making Christian Dance music. I don't know how this would sound but I'm very excited about it.
I think I'm currently in a band called JEN. I believe that I will be playing the keyboard, gameboy, and possibly slide whistle. Oh and I think I might be supplying vocals. The band has some pretty strict rules but I think I can contribute my natural gift of songwriting.

So I'm going to be doing this thing called Future Husband. Not of the week or of the day...just whenever. You can give me a high five whenever you see me if you agree that that certain guy should be my future husband. Never mind technicalities such as their marital status or sexual orientation. I'm just saying it would be cool if they were my Future Husband. They might also be fictional characters or not exist.

First Official Future Husband:



Win Butler of the band Arcade Fire. He's married to Regine who's also in the band but like I said before...just a technicality.

Heartbeats

I remember when I was a little goth kid in high school. I was a total closet goth though. I adored HIM and My Chemical Romance. Their music was so dark and gloomy...but romantic as well. I especially liked the escapism of it all.

"We are so young
Our lives have just begun
But already we are considering
escape from this world."
-"Join Me In Death" HIM

I wanted my first car to be a hearse. And my 17th birthday was funeral themed. I was obsessed with all things morbid and macabre.
I grew out of that phase.

I would still like to escape...but not from this world. Maybe from this country or this continent. I have to many things to complete in this life. I have too many goals to cut my life short now.

I just want you all to know that you are not alone. Don't ever think you're alone in this world. If you ever think about escaping, just think about all those you will leave behind. I would never want anyone to join me in death.
I do love the song "I will follow you into the dark" by Deathcab for Cutie.

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
         

Please don't be afraid to keep on living. I know it's hard and it sucks sometimes but you have to win. You can't lose and you can't give up. You might miss out on something you didn't know was there.

Life is too much fun to give up.

We're on the bed but your clothes are laying right there

I'm a total music snob. So naturally I went to the Metro Station concert tonight. I took Kelsey with me because they sing a song called, well, "Kelsey".
I felt super old at that show. Everyone was like 13 and 14. It reminded me of going to shows in high school.
I know it's really lame to say you enjoy bands like Metro Station but I don't care. It was such a funny show. We made fun of all the trashy scene teens and moms and dads.
Kelsey and I waited outside afterwards and met the band members.
Since when did 20 year old guys start dressing like 14 year old girls? Stop shopping at Forever 21 boyz!! Maybe pre-teens think its hot but I don't.

Someone spilled their beer on me. I didn't think that anyone there was even old enough to smoke cigarettes.


f.y.i Trace Cyrus smells like weed in person.


Mason is pretty much the talent of the band.

Let Your Fiber Show

Ugh. I can't register for classes until I pay the educational vampires that I call St. Edward's University.
I miss Frank and his scarf Fibrola. Seriously, she was like the best scarf EVER. And she only ever looked good with his mystical Unicorn tee.
If you ask someone if they are the Devil, and they freak out...chances are they're the Devil.

My new style icon might be Mickey Mouse ...or Luke Skywalker. I've seen someone around campus wearing a Yoda backpack. And a Chewbacca backpack.

Possible travel locations: Tulsa this Thanksgiving, Dallas in December, Marfa next May, London a year from now.

I will never be a wunderkind.

When I am older I will start a recycling center in San Antonio, Texas. It will be like The Free Store of Haight-Ashbury. People will be able to donate their unwanted items and take anything they want for free. I'm not sure how I will pay the bills with this recycling center but I know it is exactly what San Antonio needs. Maybe I will rent space out for events and live music and charge an entrance fee in order to keep the free store running.
Comment me if you are interested in starting a free store in San Antonio. Austin is too advanced for this kind of thing even thought it might work better.



Magic? I'll show you magic.

Breakfast for Dinner

I'm pretty jealous of my friend April who gets mail from her long distance boyfriend. He sends her a bunch of rad packages that say stuff like "You are the best organism on earth" and contain chocolate kisses. If only we all had thoughtful long distance boyfriends that cared about us that much.

I had blueberry pancakes and eggs for dinner at Danielle's apartment tonight. Very delicious stuff.

Sometimes I make lists in my head of men I would like to marry. They always change but sometimes I think of the same ones. Like Jeff Goldblume. I'm dying to hear that man pop the question. I could go on and on about who I'd like my future husband to be but then I would just be sad.

My hair is in an icky growing out stage that upsets me and makes my head look all gross and round. I want it to be all long and full right now. I want to braid it and tease it up into a bird nest like my friend Rebecca's hair.

I am in the process of editing my short film trailer. It is taking longer than I thought. I also have a silk painting to start and a few papers to finish ...or start rather.

My hand still hurts. Ouch! Don't you love listening to me complain.

I hope that Frank gets to move in with me soon. He will be a nice addition to the apartment.

Wear Your Cat Vest With Pride

My hand hurts. Ouch!
I pretty much want to create a line of T-shirts that incorporates all that is mystical and wild.
I'm hoping Ingrid will help me with this project. I want the artwork on the tees to be of things like crystal formations, dream catchers, wolves, gemstones, and galaxies.

I kind of want to see Metro Station perform this week at La Zona Rosa. I don't care what reputation the band has, I just like their songs.

I'm attending a Q&A with Ian Mackaye on Friday. I'm going to ask him questions about being Straight Edge and how it relates to the music industry.

I only have a couple more months left to be a teenager. In December I'll be celebrating my 20th birthday. Hopefully I'll be celebrating it by throwing an awesome party in my apartment.

Favorite Song of the Moment: "The Newcomer of Seven Years" by PlayRadioPlay!
I'm thinking about using it in my short film trailer.

Let's Start A Band

I am currently growing my hair out.
I don't think I will cut it until it has grown long enough for a style.
I want LONG and BIG hair that I can braid and tease up.
Thanksgiving seems like a boring holiday to me. I feel like wearing a vest with cats on it and serving food to the homeless and less fortunate. I want someone else to enjoy the holiday. I would just take it for granted. I'm not sure if I will spend it in Austin or San Antonio. We will see.
I want to be done with this semester by the time Thanksgiving break comes around.


"I've Never Been to Heaven but I've Been to Oklahoma."


I am seriously considering taking a road trip to Tulsa, Oklahoma the weekend of Thanksgiving. I want to see Jason in concert again and possibly visit my friend Samantha. My friend April expressed interest in going with me but I'm not sure if she's sincere. If you wanna come with me then just tell me in a comment. I would love some company. And admission to Jason's gig is only $25. It might be a bit pricey to travel but it's affordable if you split the cost.

Road trip soundtrack: Hanson "Middle of Nowhere" ....duh!

Blog About Me Sometime

I'm working on new and exciting things again. Right now I'm in the process of filming scenes for a trailer I'm making for a short film I'm thinking about making. I will premiere the trailer at the Sorin Reel Film Festival at school. I'm very excited about showing everyone this story I've had in my head. I first came up with it this summer and now it is coming to life with the help of a few friends.
The short film is titled Etienne's Gaining Weight. It is a film about two eccentric gay teenage outcasts in the Midwest who attempt a heterosexual relationship in order to be free of sin and end up falling in love with each other. I don't know if the trailer to this short film will explain the story fully but I hope that the audience walks away with some understanding.
If you read some of my older posts then you might remember what short film idea I'm making reference to. The idea came to me this past summer when I was suffering from insomnia and I needed to create an alternate world to retreat to. I made up the two characters Gemma and Etienne who's names have changed many times since then. There story is still the same. I'm not sure what sort of message this short film is supposed to be sending but I am in no way trying to pass judgment on anyone's sexual orientation. This story is more about Christ's love than human love. It's hard to believe but it's true. I'll post the video of the trailer as soon as it's done so that you may see for yourself.

I've also been working on more tangible forms of art such as hats and felting. I finally finished the hat project for my costume class and I am very proud of my final product. I will post some quality pictures as soon as I have some taken for my portfolio. Now our class is moving on to dyeing silk and distressing fabrics. I'm glad I decided to take that class and I'm anticipating the classes I will be taking next semester.

I have been having day dreams of a possible road trip this summer. Nothing big and no where far. I just want to travel to Marfa, Texas. I've been to Marfa once before and I feel the need to see it again in all it's glory. I will need companions.
What I really want is to go on tour with a band. I want to be a merch girl or a personal assistant. I really want to travel and sleep in buses and go days without showering and find myself at a truck stop at 5 in the morning. Nothing would make me happier.

Dear Jason Castro,
Please take me on tour with you next summer. I want to spend all summer with your spirit.



P.S. Does anybody out there wanna road trip with me this Thanksgiving weekend to Tulsa, Oklahoma? We can visit the birthplace of Hanson and I heard about this little show on the 29th at the Fly Trap Music Hall. This guy named Jason Castro will be playing his first show there since American Idol. I really want to go. Early birthday/Christmas gifts anyone??