Honest Day

Today I worked from 4 p.m to 9:30 p.m. I spent the first half of the day asleep with my best friend Frank on the apartment floor. I cut his hair the night before. I didn't like work today. It was too much. Not hard though, just too much. I worked with a different co-worker and I didn't like it very much. I hope I don't have to work with him again. The worst part about my job is that some fairly attractive men come in to buy subs and it's really hard to look cute while you smell like a sweaty sandwich. But it's easy money so there isn't much to complain about.

These lyrics are kind of summing up what I've been feeling lately. I wish I had written them.

These are the days
When all that I can do is dream
But I don't wanna spend forever
Living in the in between
I'm stuck here in a place without love
And I just can't let it stay this way
But for now I'm gonna have to face it
These are the days

I gotta use this lonely time
To change the picture in my frame of mind
Outside the window there's a sunny day
I wanna feel it on my face
You and I...
We're out here looking for the same thing
An end to all the wondering
Waiting for someone to share this feeling

They were written by the boys of O-Town. Do you ever wish you had written lyrics to a really catchy song? I always wish I was the genius who came up with the most beautiful songs.
But the song that those lyrics are from is called "These Are The Days" and it is a really nice song even though a boy band wrote it. Watch the video because they are all very cute and unique.
I always picture what my life would be like married to a certain person. Sometimes I even imagine the fights we would have. And I spend a lot of time thinking about what my future children will be like. I hope they like me more than I like my parents.
That co-worker of mine really upset me with all the questions he asked me and made me uncomfortable many many times. I didn't know what he wanted from me and I don't think many people there like him. It seems so hard to. I would like to know how I come off to people. Talking to him made me ask myself a lot of questions. Like, if I don't drink, smoke, or go to clubs, then what do I do?
I don't know. I exist. I blog therefore I am.
Whatever. This made me happy today.


I wish I were married to him. He seems like he'd be an amazing husband. (sigh)
Sometimes I feel unremarkable. This name has been in my head for some time: John Wesley Harding.

Last Day of CUSP

I don't mind sleeping the day away. I especially don't mind it when I have to work a shift at Subway from 3 p.m. till close. Why yes today was my first day of worked. And I enjoyed it. Everyone there was very nice and helpful to me. I was able to eat for free and enjoy a few snacks. I won't go one about the tricks of the trade as most likely you have been to Subway before. Eat fresh people!
What was funny about working today was that I kept thinking about how this was the last day of the Castrofans United Service Project and I still hadn't done anything worthwhile. I've done a few things here and there but nothing truly amazing. And while I was working that John Mayer song "Waiting on the World to Change" came on and I thought it was like a sign. I took it to mean that even though this week is over there are still two more weeks before July 1st and the whole summer to devote to service.
Then I had another thought. What if I donate the money I made today at work to a worthwhile charity? And then an even better idea hit me. Why don't I combine the two things I love in order to help more people?
So my idea is to use the money I earned today to purchase vintage and one-of-a-kind clothing at local thrift stores. I will then sell the clothing on eBay in order to make more money. Then I will donate all that I have made to some local San Antonio charities in Jason's name. That way I am doing something I love (shopping at thrift stores) and most of the money the thrift stores make go to charity anyway. And someone else will also be purchasing some unique clothing they would otherwise not find themselves. And a few local charities will get the money they deserve instead of my lousy paycheck. I think it's a win-win situation.
This might take a lot longer than two-weeks as I probably get paid every two weeks but I will do it anyway because I slacked off so much this week.
As for what I will turn in to be included in the book, I am hoping to get someone with a really nice camera to take a picture of me with rice on my hands as I have donated many thousands of grains of rice at freerice.com. And I will continue to donate rice up until the project is due.
I just hope I can contribute enough hours and grains of rice. Right now I don't feel as awesome as some of the stories I heard about on Castrocopia.com.
Meh! To each his own service.
Unfortunately I can only donate one day's worth of pay to my CUSPy project because the rest is going towards my Spring semester balance I have yet to pay off. I really need to go back to school in order to change the world.

Good Trailers to Watch:
The Fall
Mr. Lonely

I am currently inspired by the brothers of Hanson. They're out changing the world one Mmmbop at time. This is a pic of Taylor's piano after he butchered his hand on it at a show. Intense!!!

And This Is Not A Love Story...

So very early this morning I got back to work writing the screenplay I've had in my mind for a while. In my mind it is this beautiful story. But it's not a love story. So many people write love stories and I don't want this to be one of those. And I want to cast and direct it. And possibly design and create the costumes. And score the film. I can tell you a little bit about it but not too much since nothing is written in stone at this point.
It is about a boy and a girl who are searching for something. They become best friends and end up finding more than they hoped for. I want this to be an independent film and something I can be proud of. I can definitely see many versions of it as well as a big budget production.

But on to more realistic things. Today was supposed to be my first day working at Subway but nothing goes as planned. I showed up and they told me to come back on Tuesday. I'm not upset or anything. That means I have the rest of the week and the weekend to myself. I can continue with CUSP week uninterrupted.

I also want to continue with craft making and swapping. I will also start cataloging my thrift finds here and maybe put them up for sale on ebay, etsy, or just make them payable through PayPal.

These are pictures I've collected that sort of are like the scenes from the screenplay. A long time ago I titled it Us Kids Know but now it could be something different as the plot is slightly changed. Well here are some of the scenes I always see in my head.









I know from these pics it "looks" like a typical boy-girl love story but it's not. Trust me it is far from that. And the second picture is as close to what the characters actually look like. The others are just stand ins.

CUSP Blog Two

Since this is Day 4 of CUSP week I cannot title this post CUSP Day Two. I am sad to say that I have not accomplished all that I would have like to by the half way mark of CUSP week. But I do plan to get into action before the week is over.
What have I done so far though... I have donated over 2,000 grains of rice to hungry people and I gave a Subway sandwich to a homeless man on the street last night. So my contribution so far has been feeding people. I will continue to donate rice through Freerice.com and I will also try and get out and help my community. It's kinda hard though without transportation. But there's no loss in trying.
I want to get at least on good picture of myself actually doing stuff for the CUSP book that will be compiled.
But for now I will try and find ways to help out using the power of the internet.

Top Ten for Summer

Summer Lists are always fun.

1. Travel is good. I don't get to do it very often but I would like some travel this summer. I don't know how having a job will affect that but it can only help financially. If I can't go to Mexico then I would like to visit West Texas again or the Rio Grand Valley. I hear they have lovely thrift stores there.

2. Fashion, Style, Clothing. I want to minimize my wardrobe while maximizing my style. I think I first have to figure out what it is. I tend to buy clothes just because they look cool and not because they look "good" on me. So I'm going to pinpoint my "style" and liquidate whatever does not fit into it. I also plan to document my summer style in some way. Maybe a daily photo blog on my Flickr.

3. Music is my boyfriend. I definitely want to start making music and what better time than now. I have the whole summer to devote to squishing out a few tunes. I may not know how to actually play an instrument but I think I'm a born lyricist. And I'm an aspiring vocalist.

4. Kingdom Work. I plan on devoting a lot of this summer to God. I will include Him in whatever I do. Nothing would be possible without Him so why not do it all for Him. I hope I can find a church to attend regularly next semester.

5. Alamo Wasteland. I really want to explore all the hidden gems in my city. I feel bad about hating on it so much. Now I want to show everyone, including myself, how cool San Antonio can be. Plus, I know there are tons of awesome places around town just waiting to be discovered. I wasn't born here for nothing.

6. New Kids On The Blog. I think I'm addicted to blogging. I just find myself writing so much now. I get a thrill out of people reading what I have to say. And I like the compliments my friends give me about my writing. Most of all I love to write. Anything. I like writing little stories, and lyrics, and I used to write poems when I was younger. Now I think poetry is cliche and boring. At the moment I'm working on writing a song about cats that my teammate and I will one day record. I also have been working on this amazing screenplay. Only in my head though.

7. Boyz Bois Boys. Ugh. Yeah I don't have one. I don't even know if I want one. Right now I could probably only settle on dating Jason Castro. But he is taken. Darn. Well I can always hope to find my own Jason one day.

8. Parents. I thought about one of the commandments the other day. Honor thy mother and thy father. I always thought I was breaking that commandment by talking back to my parents and fighting with them. But then I thought, you know what? I am honoring them. I honor them by living a good life. I'm a good daughter. I honor them whenever I choose not to smoke, or drink, or abuse drugs. I honor them by continuing my education and trying to better my life. I don't necessarily have to agree with everything they say in order to honor them.

9. Friends. Have been good to me lately. Thanks for being there for me guys. I couldn't have done any of this without you. I hope being away from some of you for so long will only bring us closer together.

10. Party Down. I don't party I guess. I try to stay away from parties with drugs and alcohol but it's so hard. At least here in San Antonio all my friends are under age and it's harder for them to go out and get drunk. I definitely want to have a few parties while I'm here in SA. But I want them to be about the music and dancing and not about getting stoned or drunk. Sometimes I just want to set a good example.

CUSP Day One

I'm not waiting on the world to change.
Sunday June 8th was the first day of CUSP (Castrofans United Service Project).
Yes, the nutty fans of the dread-headed cutie are at it again. Everyday this week we are devoting our lives to service. Most of my plans fell through today so I just donated rice at the website Freerice.com. My highest amount donated throughout the day was 1000 grains of rice. I'm happy that someone will get to eat what I donated.
I spent most of today storing energy by sleeping instead of helping my mom sell stuff at the flea market. The money she made wasn't going to a good cause so I decided to stay out of it. Javi and Abe came over and we did frivolous things such as take Myspace default pics and watch Youtube vids. I will however try and contribute my time and energy to service the rest of this week. Especially after seeing this blog with Jason in it. The blog was about this ad campaign of sorts called I Am Second. Sounds to me like it could be a good Christian music label. And one that I would die to be a part of. But for now I will simply stew away in my tiny room and help change the world one grain of rice at a time.
I plan to travel this summer. Hopefully I won't have to rely on my imagination alone. I plan to go with Abe to Mexico in July. It will be my first time to ever leave America. I hope Mexico is amazing and not sleazy like I imagine it to be. Bon Voyage for now!

Alamo Wasteland

I'm back where I started. San Antonio, Texas home of the lame. I will be living here for the next four months and then it's back to Austin when school starts. I must confess that I'm not too excited to be back home but I will have to endure.
San Antonio as some of you may know is not all boring and dull. We do have some fun things going on from time to time but not nearly enough to keep boredom away.
My favorite part of SA though is the thrift stores. We have lots of them and most of them are real gems. Most of my wardrobe is from the thrift stores around town and I plan on keeping it that way. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't buy anymore clothing but that doesn't mean I can't buy clothing for someone else.
So my newest project but hardly a new idea is to scour local thrift stores around town and find the best clothing and accessories in order to sell them online for a profit. I will also be documenting my finds in a video-blog and in photographs. I share a youtube channel with two of my friends. It's called Awkwardly Social. It is supposed to encompass how weird and relate-able we can all be but on video. It's also just an excuse to have our own channel.
But for the most part I plan on showing everyone how cool San Antonio can be for a change.
Austin has been taking the spotlight most recently and I just want to prove to others and myself that the city I come from is just waiting to be named the new city of cool. You just have to look.