When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Ghost

Holidays are for suckers. But I've spent so much time thinking of the perfect gifts and crafting lovely presents.
I'm just glad I get to see my friends again.
And I'm turning 20 this week! The end of teen age years is upon me.
Baby Jesus' birthday over shadows mine. Thanks a lot bro. I mean, yeah you saved our souls, but what about my b-day?!
I want to celebrate by building forts, having a food fight, and thrashing to my favorite songs.
I want to pour soda on my head and run out into the streets screaming at the top of my lungs.
Don't try and stop me. I will celebrate my rite of passage any way I please.
Then I plan on returning to our lovely capitol, packing my bags, and heading West.

Oh, and by the way I have a new Christmas wish list:

Be good to each other.




Future Husband:



David Wain
It might be hard to see why I'd want to marry him at first but you'd understand why if you ever saw any of his comedy.
He's the funny type of cute.

Like A Year Of Rainy Days

So this break is upon us.
And who knows if we will ever go back.
I have my partners in crime, for however long they can stand me.
I will try and be more bearable.

Today I received many free clothes from the costume shop I work at.
I'm not sure how much longer I will work there but I will try and get the most out of it.

Road trips...I long for them. I just find peace in traveling.
I don't want to stay in one place if there is nothing in that place for me.

I often ask myself...Who am I writing this for?
The answer is You. I'm writing this because you are reading it.

Anyway...last Saturday I went on a little trip to see Jason Castro. It was pretty awesome.
I have many things to write about the concert but I feel that this is not the right audience.
I can only tell those kinds of things to his fans.

I wish I had a secret language I could write in and You would have to decipher my code.
But all I know is English.

Future Husband:



Gerard Way
Lead Singer of My Chemical Romance
I think he might have saved my life.
He's also married to Lin-Z of Mindless Self Indulgence
but that's a technicality.

My Dream Catcher Couldn't Catch You

Secret Santa is fun when you're buying things for people in the Costume Shop. You can get them just about anything. For example I bought my person Easy-Mac and Tuna lunches. And someone bought me a dream catcher. I loved my gift and my secret person loved his.
I really want to devote a lot of my free time to making Christmas gifts for my friends and family. I think it's better than buying a whole bunch of junk they will never use.

I saw snow fall for the first time last night. It was magical. It was a real downer to hear people say stuff like, "You've never seen snow before? It's no big deal."
Snow is a big deal. It's a very big deal. I've always wanted to see snow.
It didn't stick to the ground or fall very hard though. Just a few flurries in the air and covering the hoods of cars. I gathered up handfuls of it off the cars and threw snow balls at my roommates. I couldn't get over the idea of throwing snow balls. I hope it snows on my birthday.

School is over. My grades are 50% good, 50% bad. I think I need a seasonal job too pass the time and make some holiday cash.

This Saturday I will be attending a concert in Garland, Texas. I'm going to see Jason Castro and Patti LaBelle. I can hardly wait to see him perform those beautiful songs live. Fingers crossed that I get to meet him again.

Soundtrack this Christmas: Snowed In by Hanson
It's the Christmas album my dad said I'd just get tired of. I never did.

Future Husband:


Conor Oberst
I thought he was the most passionate guy when I was a freshmen in high school. Now I just think he's a little creepy and too angst-ridden for his age. But I'd still marry him if he promised to write a concept album about me.

You're A Moldy Peach But I Bet You Still Taste Good

Almost over. This semester is almost over. Thank heavens!
Just one final to get over with and I'm golden. Ready for the break to start and ready to start with a clean slate.
Truth be told I've been looking kinda gross lately. I see no reason to keep myself neat and finals week is usually Hell.
I will clean up soon I swear.
Omg, I've just discovered this awesome website via NYLON blog.
It's called Tony B Machine and the website is www.tony-b.org.
There is a little cartoon synth that plays real music and samples and actually records. It's so cute and fun to play with. It makes you feel like a tiny DJ.
I think I will spend my free time mastering the site and making a few mixes in the process.

Is it weird if I repeat a Future Husband because I'm really starting to fall back in love with Vincent Kartheiser. He's just such a convincing actor. He makes you fall in love with everyone of his characters. Or maybe it's just me. But I recently saw some of the movie All I Wanna Do (Strike! or The Hairy Bird) on Youtube. He plays an adorable townie named Snake who is the head of a photography club who specializes in roadkill. Oh and did I mention that Danny Smith comes out in the movie as well. His most notable role was as Merton Dingle in the Fox Family TV show Big Wolf On Campus.
After I saw the best parts of All I Wanna Do, I started to watch clips from Mad Men. I already knew Vincent was on that show and I would watch on occasions. But I think I'm going to have to start watching more often because his character Pete Campbell is becoming three dimensional and they are giving him a lot more camera time. Which is always a good thing if Vincent's involved.

But alas my Future Husband nomination goes to:



Reece Daniel Thompson as Hal Hefner in Rocket Science
He stole my heart as a stuttering kid who joins the debate team.
I feel a kinship to the character of Hal because I also have a stutter.
And I competed in Academic Decathlon in high school and won medals in the Speech category.


I guess that's weird for me to write that I have a stutter. Some people might not notice it but its a medium sized part of who I am. It's not as bad as Hal's in Rocket Science but it gets worse when I'm in San Antonio for some reason. And it is also hard to hide when I talk with my older brother. He seems to bring it out of me. I've never received any speech therapy for it but I've considered it. I see it as something that could only limit me if I were pursuing a career in acting. But at the moment I am not and there fore I have no problem stumbling along in my words.
I really don't like when people point it out though. It's bad enough that I tend to apologize for every word I stutter on.
I guess it's just another one of my quirks!

Second Best Never Felt Better

I just saw the best video ever. And yes Jason Castro was in it.
You don't have to keep reading but if you want to see an inspiring video then check it out right here.



It's about his religious beliefs and how he made a choice to put God first in his life. He talks about his choice to perform the Leonard Cohen song "Hallelujah" and what it meant to him to be able to praise his king in front of millions watching on TV.

He tells a little story or testimonial if you will about how he came to know Christ and how his goals in life consist of being a loving father, a faithful husband, and a servant to all.

He also mentions that he felt like life wasn't worth living if he wasn't living it for God. I find that very true and I'm glad that I chose to be a fan of his music.

I too want everything I do to be of benefit to the Kingdom of God. I'm sorry if this comes as a shock to anyone or if you think I'm weird for loving God. But I feel that living for other people will only lead to heartbreak and disappointment.

I don't mean to impose my religious beliefs on anyone but I feel that being Christian is a big part of who I am and I never want to be embarrassed about it or feel like I have to hide it from anyone.

School will be over in less than a week. I'm not ready. I'm ready for classes to end but I'm not ready to say goodbye to all my friends. This holiday season will be very different from years past because I'm not going home when school is over.

Shine your light and lead the way.




Future Husband:



Taylor Hanson
Good Christian Boy (check)
Marital Status (Taken)
Good Songwriter (Double-Check)
Wears Chokers (You Better Believe It)

I Don't Want A Lot For Christmas

Did you know that I turn 20 the day after Christmas? Well it's true. I'm calling it ChristmaBirthday. I'm not asking for much this holiday season but if you're thinking about getting me something here are a few things I wouldn't mind.

Sewing Machine



Jason Castro Poster





Jason Castro Calendar



The poster and the calendar are both $12 and they are available at his online store. http://store.thejasoncastro.com/


Moccasins





American Apparel Braided Belt



The belt cost $11 and I would love any color but I think purple is my power color.

And if you can't think of anything to get me....just get me a gift card to one of my favorite stores
Goodwill (it can be for any amount)



If you're like me and you're on a budget this holiday season then don't feel obligated to "buy" anything for me. I love handmade gifts. They are much more personal and sentimental. You can make me anything you think I would like.

Here are some suggestions:
Handmade moccasins (they sell the kits at Hobby Lobby)
Tote Bag made with funky fabric
Headbands with feathers or gems
Necklaces, bracelets, pins or any accessories (fyi I'm not a fan or expensive jewelry)
Paint or draw a picture of me...it doesn't have to be pretty or cute
Write a Poem or Song for me or about me or inspired by me
Sing me a song that I like or reminds you of me
Collage or scrapbook
Decorate a T-shirt with my favorite things
Stuffed or felted creatures
Create a Doll of me (I've had this as a gift before and I loved it!)

I'm currently putting together gifts for my friends and families so please send me a link to your wish list.

Future Husband:



Michael Cera
Possibly one of the cutest dorks in Hollywood.
I loved him as George-Michael on Arrested Development.
Plus I think we're the same age :D