You Are Not Alone

everyone has problems.
and everyone has it hard, especially right now.
you're not the only one.

when you're complaining about how hard your life is, just take a minute to think that someone out there has it harder than you.

I'm just saying, don't take things for granted. Be grateful for all that you have.

In other news I got started on my zine today. Mystical One should be out the same day my music video premieres.

I'm seriously considering submitting a short film to the San Antonio Film Festival.

My etsy shop Knitted Bliss 88 is almost up and running. I have yet to post any items but as soon as I have models and some time to take and upload pictures I will take care of that.

I think song lyrics can save your life. The fact that someone put what you are feeling to music makes you feel as though your life has a soundtrack.

"Come and get me outta this town oh now, come and save me...come and rescue me from this giant hotel full of bones and babies."
- "64 little white things"
Cake Bake Betty

"I heard you crying
Somebody stole my soul
How could I be dying
I turned 20, Five days ago

We're all on the ground,just crying out
Somebody save me please
I won't sit around just thinking about
The troubles that tomorrow brings"

- "Dying to be Alive"
Hanson

Compared to others around me, my life is running quite smooth.

I'm Not Sick But I'm Not Well

(photo taken by me when I pretend to be a photographer 2009)

I'm 100% again.
I'm not sneezy-watery eyes-runny nosed anymore. Yes!
I woke up this morning and I was feeling fine.
Actually I went to sleep this morning (er was it yesterday) and woke up before class started and I was a-okay.

I was healthy enough to judge the ImprovOFF. I don't have much to say about it. Let's just say we need to work on our Improv skills as a university. Improv does not mean getting up on stage and yelling, doing slapstick, or making offensive gestures. I wasn't offended by any of the performances but I wasn't amused.
Being a judge was a lot harder than I thought. There was a lot of Math involved.

Then I went to my friend Andrew's play reading. I am assistant directing it. Or am I Assistant to the Director? Ah who knows! Alls I know is I'm getting my name on a program.

In more Hanson related news, Taylor Hanson has a side project. :O
Yeah....I'm as shocked as you are. And if you don't know who Taylor Hanson is then what are you even doing reading this blog?!
Well he's in a band with the guitarist from Smashing Pumpkins, that dude from Fountains of Wayne, and the drummer from Cheap Trick. Yeah....that's what I said. :O
His band is called Tinted Windows.



It looks pretty legit. Yet the Hanson fan in me (the Fanson if you will) wants to cry out blasphemy! It sounds like a different band yet all I can hear is Taylor, so I think Hanson. But it's not....anyway they will be unveiling themselves during none other than South by South West, the music festival that started Hanson. How ironic. I will try and attend even though they will only be performing at an official showcase and the venue is 21+.
I want to try and recreate this rare moment in history where I met my idol of over 10 years.
This photo was taken last year at SXSW and I was 19 years old. The only other time I was that happy was when I met Jason Castro. Ahhh the memories...


Have a listen to Tinted Windows and tell me what you think.




Future Husband:



Anderson Cooper
Why not?
Everyone loves the Silver Fox...

We let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know

What could be better than one cat vest?
The answer is two. Two cat vests are better than one. Which means that I am the owner of not one but two cat vests. Yes!
I only have Ingrid, Sonny, and Rebecca to thank for this. Thanks guyz.

College is expensive. My books for this semester are so pricey that I contemplated dropping my entrepreneurship class just so I wouldn't have to buy the books.
I'm going to try and find a way around the expensive book prices. A few of my friends have been nice enough to give me the books I will be needing for one of my classes. And the rest I will buy on eBay or Amazon. I have also checked some of the books out from the library.



I thought this was a pretty good post secret card. I laugh every time I see that Romeo + Juliet movie with Claire Daines and Leo.

I bought some socks today from Wal-Mart and I'm pretty excited to wear them. They aren't awesome or anything but sometimes you just crave a pair of thick wooly socks. They were pretty inexpensive as well. I noticed that Wal-Mart is upping their game when it comes to the types of clothing they sell there. They have a few higher priced labels now. Jen and I were very confused whilst shopping today.

Ingrid is totally on board for creating a zine about being mystical and doing How-To's on Youtube. We want to feature others who are mystical as well so contact us if you're interested.
We are going to do a limited run of the zines and have a weekly Youtube segment on what you can do to be more mystical.

American Idol is on again. And I might be slightly addicted. Jason's younger brother Michael is a contestant on the show aaaaand....he's pretty good. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's better than Jason but ... he's good. I will support him as best I can. Because what else is there to do, get high?

I want to start a Hanson cover band. But let's get one thing straight: I'm Taylor.

Future Husband:



Mika
His songs are fun, magical, and a little gay.
I'm not sure if I'm his "type" exactly but I would marry him no matter his "preference".

Blog About Me Sometime

I'm working on new and exciting things again. Right now I'm in the process of filming scenes for a trailer I'm making for a short film I'm thinking about making. I will premiere the trailer at the Sorin Reel Film Festival at school. I'm very excited about showing everyone this story I've had in my head. I first came up with it this summer and now it is coming to life with the help of a few friends.
The short film is titled Etienne's Gaining Weight. It is a film about two eccentric gay teenage outcasts in the Midwest who attempt a heterosexual relationship in order to be free of sin and end up falling in love with each other. I don't know if the trailer to this short film will explain the story fully but I hope that the audience walks away with some understanding.
If you read some of my older posts then you might remember what short film idea I'm making reference to. The idea came to me this past summer when I was suffering from insomnia and I needed to create an alternate world to retreat to. I made up the two characters Gemma and Etienne who's names have changed many times since then. There story is still the same. I'm not sure what sort of message this short film is supposed to be sending but I am in no way trying to pass judgment on anyone's sexual orientation. This story is more about Christ's love than human love. It's hard to believe but it's true. I'll post the video of the trailer as soon as it's done so that you may see for yourself.

I've also been working on more tangible forms of art such as hats and felting. I finally finished the hat project for my costume class and I am very proud of my final product. I will post some quality pictures as soon as I have some taken for my portfolio. Now our class is moving on to dyeing silk and distressing fabrics. I'm glad I decided to take that class and I'm anticipating the classes I will be taking next semester.

I have been having day dreams of a possible road trip this summer. Nothing big and no where far. I just want to travel to Marfa, Texas. I've been to Marfa once before and I feel the need to see it again in all it's glory. I will need companions.
What I really want is to go on tour with a band. I want to be a merch girl or a personal assistant. I really want to travel and sleep in buses and go days without showering and find myself at a truck stop at 5 in the morning. Nothing would make me happier.

Dear Jason Castro,
Please take me on tour with you next summer. I want to spend all summer with your spirit.



P.S. Does anybody out there wanna road trip with me this Thanksgiving weekend to Tulsa, Oklahoma? We can visit the birthplace of Hanson and I heard about this little show on the 29th at the Fly Trap Music Hall. This guy named Jason Castro will be playing his first show there since American Idol. I really want to go. Early birthday/Christmas gifts anyone??

I Just Want To Be Your Everything

So the other day I got written up twice at Subway for bad customer service. Yeesh! If I get another complaint they are going to fire me. So I'm looking for a new job. Because it is too dang hard not to upset Subway customers. Working there is getting annoying anyway. Today during my shift I was contemplating quitting or going home early because I was sick. I really am though. My throat is still sore and my face is congested. It makes sleep very difficult. But what is more difficult is not being able to sing. I am just now beginning to realize how much I genuinely love to sing.
I don't mind looking for a new job as I currently have enough money to pay for the Idols Live ticket I want to purchase. Every day I read a new story on the DDB about someone's castro-encounter. And it just gets me even more excited to see him again. Every day I think about what I'm going to say to him or what I'm going to give him. I don't ever want the day to come though. Because then I'll know that it's over. I want to keep wanting him. I know I'll be sad the day after it happens because then I won't be thinking about what I'm going to say. I'll be thinking about what I said. And what he said.
He's pretty much all I'm living for right now. "Listen please, don't walk out the door. I'm on my knees, you're all I'm living for"("Save Me" by Hanson) Or at least all I'm living for on this earth. I don't care as much about any other band as I do about him. Every day I am amazed at how awesome he is. Just spend one afternoon with me and try not to get hooked on the JCas. It's almost impossible. I will make you love him.
In other news...Javi and I are starting a novela. Well not really. It's more like a digital short of sorts. Just another internet show on another youtube channel. Pretty run of the mill bored teenz stuff. But this show will be about how shallow Scene Kids are. But it's not going to be only about us talking crap. It'll be more satire.
And we have the food fight party coming up. And then the Summer Swap Meet. And then Idols Live. And then school. Wow. Summer is going by so fast. "Everlasting summer you can see it fading faster...So you grab a hold of something that you think is gonna last you." Those are lyrics from the group song the Top 4 did on this season's AI. The song is "Reeling In the Years" by Steely Dan. I really liked that performance even though it was the night Jason was kicked off. He sang the best lines of the whole song.
"You've been telling me you're a genius since you were seventeen. All the years I've known you I still don't know what you mean."
And then he sang..."The week we spent in Hollywood is etched across my mind."
I love relating moments with song lyrics or movie quotes. It's just what I do.
So I am officially nocturnal now. I don't really wake up anymore until 3 p.m. and then I usually have work from 4 p.m. till close and then I stay up online until 5 a.m. when the sun comes up. And then I fall asleep as the world around me is waking up. Like an owl...but with less feathers. I'm pretty much part sloth-part owl.
Isaac Hanson has a new son named Everret. His first name is Clark like his dad but all the Hanson's go by their middle names. I wish that were true of my family but sadly I have no middle name.
I would name my son Etienne. I want to either marry a Hanson (not really possible unless I marry Mackenzie) or a Castro. Both families would be pretty tight to be a part of.

Today I got a swap package in the mail. It was from my Thrift Store T-shirt International Swap. The T-shirt came from the US though. It was an okay tee. I have yet to send my shirt out. I am waaaaay late on lots of swaps and other mail things. But fear not people. You will all get your mail one day.
Until I am stable enough to write another blog. Peace, Love, and Jason's Pantz!

owls sharing secrets...