Singin' Hallelujah With the Fear in Your Heart

Tomorrow is the premier of my short film trailer "Etienne's Gaining Weight".
I am so excited and I hope that you all attend the film festival if you are able to. It is the first of it's kind at St. Edward's and I'm pretty glad to be a part of history.

I am about 30% done with my silk octopus painting. It is due next Tuesday and I still have lots to due.
Today I got to take home bundles of free clothes from the Costume Shop. I'm thinking about starting an online shop where I can sell unique and one of a kind clothing to people all over the world. I'm sure people in Austin will want to buy some of the clothing I have but I think it is meant for a broader audience who will appreciate the costume quality.

The best thing I got today was a cape. I am now the proud owner of a brocade cape. It's magical and I'm going to work it into my style. It won't be too hard though. I've been wanting a cape but I never thought about a color besides black.

I have to come up with my Christmas Wish List. I don't expect anyone to give my any gifts but if you're thinking about it then look no further. I'm going to try and make all my gifts by hand. I feel like there is so much more love in them. And I'm just cheap.

Future Husband:



Vincent Kartheiser from Crime+Punishment in Suburbia
He's an outcast and a savior and a stalker and a voyeur.
He made a really crappy C movie into a cult classic for me.

God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You

I finished editing my short film trailer today. It is epic.
I hope the film festival powers that be will take a late submission.
I'm very excited for everyone to see it. I'm so excited I almost wish I had made a whole short film instead of just the trailer. Almost.

This week I will start and hopefully finish my silk painting of an octopus. I have yet to find a name for the painting. I'm leaning towards Esteban or Kingsley.

This week holds a lot for me. Friday is the Film Festival and it is also when I will find out if I'm going to be an RA next semester. Pray for me. I really need that job in more ways than one.

I can't wait until Thanksgiving break. Fingers crossed that I am able to road trip to Oklahoma. I've decided that I'm spending all my "money" on seeing Jason Castro perform this holiday season as a gift to myself. So instead of throwing a birthday party for other people to enjoy I will be enjoying myself at my favorite performer's concert.

I had small group Bible study today. We went to a private praise and worship meeting thing. It was intense. There was acoustic guitar strumming, Christian music singing, prayer, speaking in tongues, praising, healing, and meditation. I was laying on the floor listening to Bekah strum the guitar and sing a beautiful song and I just felt myself fall asleep. I woke up and everyone was singing "Majesty" really loud so I just joined in. It was very cool but I had to leave because I promised some friends that I would meet them for coffee. My time spent at praise and worship really got me excited about possibly making Christian Dance music. I don't know how this would sound but I'm very excited about it.
I think I'm currently in a band called JEN. I believe that I will be playing the keyboard, gameboy, and possibly slide whistle. Oh and I think I might be supplying vocals. The band has some pretty strict rules but I think I can contribute my natural gift of songwriting.

So I'm going to be doing this thing called Future Husband. Not of the week or of the day...just whenever. You can give me a high five whenever you see me if you agree that that certain guy should be my future husband. Never mind technicalities such as their marital status or sexual orientation. I'm just saying it would be cool if they were my Future Husband. They might also be fictional characters or not exist.

First Official Future Husband:



Win Butler of the band Arcade Fire. He's married to Regine who's also in the band but like I said before...just a technicality.

Heartbeats

I remember when I was a little goth kid in high school. I was a total closet goth though. I adored HIM and My Chemical Romance. Their music was so dark and gloomy...but romantic as well. I especially liked the escapism of it all.

"We are so young
Our lives have just begun
But already we are considering
escape from this world."
-"Join Me In Death" HIM

I wanted my first car to be a hearse. And my 17th birthday was funeral themed. I was obsessed with all things morbid and macabre.
I grew out of that phase.

I would still like to escape...but not from this world. Maybe from this country or this continent. I have to many things to complete in this life. I have too many goals to cut my life short now.

I just want you all to know that you are not alone. Don't ever think you're alone in this world. If you ever think about escaping, just think about all those you will leave behind. I would never want anyone to join me in death.
I do love the song "I will follow you into the dark" by Deathcab for Cutie.

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
         

Please don't be afraid to keep on living. I know it's hard and it sucks sometimes but you have to win. You can't lose and you can't give up. You might miss out on something you didn't know was there.

Life is too much fun to give up.

We're on the bed but your clothes are laying right there

I'm a total music snob. So naturally I went to the Metro Station concert tonight. I took Kelsey with me because they sing a song called, well, "Kelsey".
I felt super old at that show. Everyone was like 13 and 14. It reminded me of going to shows in high school.
I know it's really lame to say you enjoy bands like Metro Station but I don't care. It was such a funny show. We made fun of all the trashy scene teens and moms and dads.
Kelsey and I waited outside afterwards and met the band members.
Since when did 20 year old guys start dressing like 14 year old girls? Stop shopping at Forever 21 boyz!! Maybe pre-teens think its hot but I don't.

Someone spilled their beer on me. I didn't think that anyone there was even old enough to smoke cigarettes.


f.y.i Trace Cyrus smells like weed in person.


Mason is pretty much the talent of the band.

Let Your Fiber Show

Ugh. I can't register for classes until I pay the educational vampires that I call St. Edward's University.
I miss Frank and his scarf Fibrola. Seriously, she was like the best scarf EVER. And she only ever looked good with his mystical Unicorn tee.
If you ask someone if they are the Devil, and they freak out...chances are they're the Devil.

My new style icon might be Mickey Mouse ...or Luke Skywalker. I've seen someone around campus wearing a Yoda backpack. And a Chewbacca backpack.

Possible travel locations: Tulsa this Thanksgiving, Dallas in December, Marfa next May, London a year from now.

I will never be a wunderkind.

When I am older I will start a recycling center in San Antonio, Texas. It will be like The Free Store of Haight-Ashbury. People will be able to donate their unwanted items and take anything they want for free. I'm not sure how I will pay the bills with this recycling center but I know it is exactly what San Antonio needs. Maybe I will rent space out for events and live music and charge an entrance fee in order to keep the free store running.
Comment me if you are interested in starting a free store in San Antonio. Austin is too advanced for this kind of thing even thought it might work better.



Magic? I'll show you magic.

Breakfast for Dinner

I'm pretty jealous of my friend April who gets mail from her long distance boyfriend. He sends her a bunch of rad packages that say stuff like "You are the best organism on earth" and contain chocolate kisses. If only we all had thoughtful long distance boyfriends that cared about us that much.

I had blueberry pancakes and eggs for dinner at Danielle's apartment tonight. Very delicious stuff.

Sometimes I make lists in my head of men I would like to marry. They always change but sometimes I think of the same ones. Like Jeff Goldblume. I'm dying to hear that man pop the question. I could go on and on about who I'd like my future husband to be but then I would just be sad.

My hair is in an icky growing out stage that upsets me and makes my head look all gross and round. I want it to be all long and full right now. I want to braid it and tease it up into a bird nest like my friend Rebecca's hair.

I am in the process of editing my short film trailer. It is taking longer than I thought. I also have a silk painting to start and a few papers to finish ...or start rather.

My hand still hurts. Ouch! Don't you love listening to me complain.

I hope that Frank gets to move in with me soon. He will be a nice addition to the apartment.

Wear Your Cat Vest With Pride

My hand hurts. Ouch!
I pretty much want to create a line of T-shirts that incorporates all that is mystical and wild.
I'm hoping Ingrid will help me with this project. I want the artwork on the tees to be of things like crystal formations, dream catchers, wolves, gemstones, and galaxies.

I kind of want to see Metro Station perform this week at La Zona Rosa. I don't care what reputation the band has, I just like their songs.

I'm attending a Q&A with Ian Mackaye on Friday. I'm going to ask him questions about being Straight Edge and how it relates to the music industry.

I only have a couple more months left to be a teenager. In December I'll be celebrating my 20th birthday. Hopefully I'll be celebrating it by throwing an awesome party in my apartment.

Favorite Song of the Moment: "The Newcomer of Seven Years" by PlayRadioPlay!
I'm thinking about using it in my short film trailer.